I am now 4 days from my due date, and little E. could arrive at any time. Sometimes I'm still amazed at the fact that I am now a mother, and soon this little human being that I've been loving and growing inside of me for so long will be in my arms, the biggest responsibility and joy of my life. If you know anything about my situation or the year I've had, you know that it's been really rough and often scary and because of that I will be raising this boy, this gift, alone. Not only did I leave the father due to his being abusive, but the father is also headed to prison on other charges. It wasn't how I envisioned things when I conceived (or ever), and many days I struggle with guilt and sadness over the fact that my child won't have a typical family life, but ultimately I know that we are safer and better off just the two of us, and I am determined to make for us a beautiful life. A life full of joy, truth, wonder, warmth, adventures, understanding, and above all, love. Love for ourselves and love for others. The kind of love that is there sun-up to sun-down and doesn't lean on whims, moods, or selfish desires. Real love.
It's a little scary and overwhelming sometimes, knowing that the odds are against us. But I know that everything will be okay and I am making it my life's mission to raise the most kind, loving, gentle, generous, funny, genuine, hardworking person that I can, and I can hardly wait to begin the adventure. :-)
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